Saturday, December 16, 2006

Actress Natasha Lyonne Cleared of Beastiality Related Charges

Be careful or she will so fuck your dog


"American Pie" star Natasha Lyonne, arrested after threatening to sexually abuse a neighbor's dog, left court a free woman Friday. Judge Anthony J. Ferrara said that because Lyonne successfully completed a court-ordered drug program and paid $2,000 restitution, he was sentencing her to a conditional discharge. Lyonne, 27, was charged with criminal mischief, criminal trespass and harassment in December 2004 after she entered a female neighbor's Gramercy Park apartment screaming and yelling, according to a misdemeanor complaint filed in court. Specifically the complaint said Lyonne banged on the female neighbor's door, entered the apartment, ripped a mirror off the wall, picked up the woman's pooch and said, "I'm going to sexually molest your dog."

I find a couple things strange about this story. First kinda strange thing is how turned on I am while thinking of Natasha Lyonne molesting a dog. More importantly than pooch molestation is the fact that someone, somehwere, in the heat of the moment, will use the phrase "I'm going to sexually molest your dog." I don't get it, why couldn't she use big girl/beast lover words. Oh well, I'm gonna go get a poodle in case Natasha swings by to smoke some crack with me later.

Natasha Lyonne Picture Gallery
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