"American Pie" star Natasha Lyonne, arrested after threatening to sexually abuse a neighbor's dog, left court a free woman Friday. Judge Anthony J. Ferrara said that because Lyonne successfully completed a court-ordered drug program and paid $2,000 restitution, he was sentencing her to a conditional discharge. Lyonne, 27, was charged with criminal mischief, criminal trespass and harassment in December 2004 after she entered a female neighbor's Gramercy Park apartment screaming and yelling, according to a misdemeanor complaint filed in court. Specifically the complaint said Lyonne banged on the female neighbor's door, entered the apartment, ripped a mirror off the wall, picked up the woman's pooch and said, "I'm going to sexually molest your dog."
I find a couple things strange about this story. First kinda strange thing is how turned on I am while thinking of Natasha Lyonne molesting a dog. More importantly than pooch molestation is the fact that someone, somehwere, in the heat of the moment, will use the phrase "I'm going to sexually molest your dog." I don't get it, why couldn't she use big girl/beast lover words. Oh well, I'm gonna go get a poodle in case Natasha swings by to smoke some crack with me later.
Natasha Lyonne Picture Gallery
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